


I'm So Glad Our Stars Aligned

by murderspice



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Canon Compliant, First Kiss, Genderfluid Character, Genderfluid Mollymauk, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Resurrection, Love Confessions, Multi, Mutual Pining, Spoilers - Critical Role Wildemount Campaign Episode 26, Spoilers for Episodes 1-26, fic with art, for now, light morning cuddles, post episode 26
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-16
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-10-08 00:33:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17376143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/murderspice/pseuds/murderspice
Summary: "Perhaps the only reason the time seemed so short between Molly's death and his return was because Caleb never stopped thinking about him."Somewhere in the aftermath of Mollymauk waking up with missing memories, wandering his way back into the Mighty Nein, and remembering his place in their little family, the Mighty Nein's resident wizard learns things he never knew about Mollymauk.The first thing he learns? Mollymauk was functionally illiterate this entire time.





	I'm So Glad Our Stars Aligned

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MeBeThem4815](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeBeThem4815/gifts).



> This is a gift for Pepper, aka MeBeShe as a part of the Widomauk Server Holiday Exchange!
> 
> "FIRST PROMPT: Soft cuddles during a rainy morning  
> SECOND PROMPT: Near death experience  
> THIRD PROMPT: Molly rez"
> 
> (Working Title: When you're functionally illiterate, but you remember what you and your crush's names look like spelled out)  
>   
> Actual Title from the lyrics of the song "Rare" by Ruth B.  
> Enjoy!

Even with their recent upgrade to a cart with a canopy, travelling in the rain is still hell. The sky has lightened up since the storm the day before, leaving them with wet travel conditions and misty air, an occasional drizzle breaking through the clouds every other hour or so.

The muddy road underneath their wheels held on persistently, dragging their pace. The horses can only trudge so hard through the muck-covered trail before they keel over from exhaustion, so the pace isn’t as fast as the Nein would have liked. Still, Caleb certainly doesn’t mind when the sky is a little dimmed. It leads to peaceful mornings like this. The sound of the horses isn't loud enough to be intrusive, and neither is the occasional soft murmur Caduceus sends in their direction to sympathize with the hard journey. The light grey-blue of the sky is easy on the eyes. It makes for fine reading light- not too bright but still light enough to see the contrast of ink against a page. It’s like morning light, but stretched out into an entire day. 

Caleb is more familiar with what early mornings look like than he used to be.

He sees movement in his periphery across from him in the cart. A lavender face resurfacing from underneath a grey wool blanket. Eyes still shut, nose scrunched, eyebrows drawn up. His dark plum hair sticks up in some places, and more than a few of his accessories have tangled around his horns and hair.

He is alive. Sleepy, _cute,_ but also very much alive.

It’s still a surprise every single time he sees Mollymauk with them again. Pleasant, for the most part. Caleb had assumed on more than one occasion that it wasn’t actually Mollymauk in front of him, back when his return was still recent. He's more willing to believe that Mollymauk isn't just another ghost of the past, now.

The Mighty Nein were given word by the Gentleman that Mollymauk was waiting for them three months ago, but found he had no memory of them past the night they killed Kyrle and set off from Trostenwald. When they asked him how he got there, he pulled out the note Caleb left with him, and that was that. In these last few months, despite the fears they all had that he would never recover his memories, he remembered them steadily. He's almost the same as when they lost him, now. 

Almost. Not much has changed about the tiefling since he returned, but to Caleb, that only makes the few differences that have cropped up easier to spot. For starters, his hair is longer than it used to be. The party decided that it must have just kept growing, even in death. It's long enough that it passes his shoulders, stopping just shy of his collarbone when he wears it down. The time without Mollymauk seemed to go by so quickly, but one glance at his hair makes Caleb remember just how long it was.

None of the other differences are of much importance. Caleb catalogs them anyway. He's picked up a habit of chewing on his talons when he's particularly anxious. Whenever he laughs, his breath now hitches on the inhale twice, instead of once. He claims that his taste buds changed when he tries an orange for the first time after waking up and finds it not to his liking.  

But despite the small number of differences, he is still very much...Mollymauk.

Caleb's heart thumps hard against his chest, eyes flickering to the other for only a second before flashing back to his book. “ _Guten Morgen,_ ” he whispers.

Mollymauk shifts into a sitting position, stretching with a barely-contained groan. “ _Gluten Morning,_ ” he murmurs back cheekily, quiet enough not to disturb the peaceful air too much. Caleb is thankful for that, even as he rolls his eyes at the response. 

"I see you remembered how you like to make fun of me." 

"Oh, no, making fun of you involves having ill intent behind it. I only tease. It's an important distinction." 

Caleb feels a grin threaten to make an appearance on his face. He tries to hold it back, but can't stop the slight quirk at the corner of his lip. 

Mollymauk lifts his hands to his right horn, trying to untangle his jewelry from his hair. The more he tries to pry the hair out of the chain, the more tangled it seems to get. Caleb watches for all of ten seconds before setting his book down. 

"Do you need help?" 

It seems to surprise Mollymauk that Caleb would offer. It's fair, he isn't known to be very tactile, like Mollymauk is. 

He did give Mollymauk an out, though. He doesn't take it. He smiles softly at Caleb and starts to scooch toward him.

"That would be lovely." 

So, Caleb sets his book aside and crosses his legs, making room for the tiefling. After only one moment of hesitation, he carefully unties the cord around Mollymauk's hair. He combs out the worst of the tangles with his fingers, before gently working the chain and the hair off of each other. Then, he moves to the other horn, quietly working the ornaments back into their proper placements. He hears a soft sigh from Mollymauk when he finishes, sweeping the hair from the front back toward him and tying it back into the same loose ponytail he wore it in before. Mollymauk's arm moves, like he took something out of his pocket. Caleb can't be completely sure, since he's too focused on smoothing out the other's hair. But the deep breath he hears the other take is familiar. 

They've been dancing around discussing something for roughly a month. Caleb just doesn't know exactly what it is they need to discuss. He hasn't avoided Mollymauk at all; there has been ample opportunity for the tiefling to say what is on his mind. But Caleb has seen him reign himself in, over and over again, from blurting out whatever it is that is putting the apprehensive look on his face when he glances at the wizard. The curiosity it leaves Caleb with is almost unbearable. 

But he doesn't want to ask about it. He doesn't want to push him. Not when Mollymauk was the first out of this group (excluding Nott) to recognize his limits and make an effort to acknowledge them. It would feel hypocritical to try and push him to talk, when Mollymauk hasn't once forced Caleb into anything he didn't want, past that first and final instance in the sewers of Zadash in their first month of knowing each other.

The wizard focuses on Mollymauk's hair, the sound of the horses, the creaking wood, the softness of the morning. Then, Mollymauk inhales. 

“Caleb.”

Caleb looks past Mollymauk's shoulder, humming to indicate he's listening, adding a soft, “ _Ja?_ ”

“You wrote this, right? The note?”

Oh. Well. Even though it's been so long since that day, there’s no mistaking the note Mollymauk’s referring to. It's the only note he could be asking about. When he holds it up to him between his fingers, like he would any of his tarot cards, Caleb remembers not only its contents, but the way his hands shook when he wrote it. How he worried over the wording countless times, even as his mind told him _he wouldn’t come back, it was already a fluke the first time._ Howthe sight of the tiefling's pale, lifeless body hurt him more than any physical pain could. 

Caleb takes a deep breath and squeezes his knees with his hands. He still doesn’t make eye contact with Mollymauk.

“...I did."

“Would you read it to me?”

The question really catches him off guard. “I thought you’d already read it.”

“Nope,” is the response he gets, the ‘p’ syllable given the slightest _pop_ for emphasis. “I barely know how to read, Caleb.”

“Oh.” _Oh._ Huh. Caleb didn’t know that. He feels more of that regret in the pit of his stomach. All this time, he had assumed Mollymauk just didn’t _like_ to read. The memories of the tiefling scanning books and putting them away with disinterest had a completely new meaning to them.

It also explains why they didn’t find him in Zadash sooner. He didn’t know to go there, because he couldn’t read the damn note. Caleb left him instructions that he didn’t even know to follow.  
Well, now Caleb feels like a right asshole.

“Hey.” Mollymauk is looking at him, eyebrows drawn up. “You still with me?”

It must take Molly back, too, to the mine in Alfield, because as Caleb feels his cheeks heat up, Mollymauk’s own flush a plum color. Caleb clears his throat, shifting his gaze a little ways off of the other’s face.

“Sorry. Ja. I was just…” There’s no use for a lie, here. “I feel a little foolish, not realizing that you couldn’t read.”

Mollymauk grins sheepishly at that. “To be entirely honest, I didn’t really know how to break it to you. Books are kind of your thing. I might’ve been a little afraid that you wouldn’t talk to me if you knew. ”

“Nein,” Caleb supplies. “You were already, ah, overwhelming. Knowing that you can’t read would have just solidified what I already knew - that you’re a hodgepodge of traits and parts that shouldn’t function when put together, but somehow do.”

It feels a little weird, letting Mollymauk know what he thinks of him. It’s a level of intimacy that Caleb never had the chance to share with him, before all hell broke loose. Thankfully, his friend doesn't tease him. Instead, he smiles softly, softer than Caleb remembers him ever doing. 

"You know, I never thought of it like that, but it's still incredibly flattering. It makes me sound talented, being able to make all the parts work." 

Caleb feels his own smile start to form, but he pushes down his quirking lips with his finger. Mollymauk looks back to the note in his hands, unfolding it gently. The wizard can't help but notice how delicately he handles the worn paper. 

"I knew my own name, at least," he murmurs, running a thumb over the writing. "And...the bottom words. I didn't know the bottom words, but they seemed important to me. Like I should know them. Especially...the last one, on there." 

Caleb already knows what's on there. But he looks over the note when Mollymauk hands it to him, anyway. Just as he remembers, all of their names are at the bottom, written in his hand. His name is the last word on the page. 

Even though it wasn't a surprise, it makes his breath hitch. Mollymauk doesn't get an explanation as to why. He doesn't get to know about the spark of hope it gives Caleb that he has to push far, far away. 

He has the practice. He's been hiding his feelings since he caught them. They started after the Alfied mines, a spark of interest lit by the compassion the other showed him at his most pathetic state. Then, the spark grew steadily into what he realized was no longer platonic, the moment he caught himself staring at Mollymauk's face as he watched fireworks for the first time in Hupperdook. When he died, Caleb thought that maybe he would move on. The way he had the last time he fell in love. He was painfully wrong. 

Perhaps the only reason the time used to seem so short, between Mollymauk's death and his return, is because Caleb never actually stopped thinking about him.

But he also knows better. Mollymauk could do better than him. Whether or not he is brave enough to tell him is irrelevant. He would only have his heart broken when Mollymauk has to tell him he can't even begin to feel the same. He wouldn't put Mollymauk in a position to be forced to deal with that. 

Mollymauk turns around to face Caleb as the wizard clears his throat and flattens the creases in the note out with his hands. The wizard can feel the other's eyes on him. He takes a breath. 

_“Your name is Mollymauk Tealeaf,”_ he reads aloud. _“Your friends call you Molly. You are a part of a group that calls itself the Mighty Nein.”_

Caleb’s jaw tenses, his eyes going vacant for a moment when he reads the next line. 

_“You died on the 22nd day of Fessuran in the year 835. You died trying to protect one of your friends.”_

Molly's eyes are still on him as he takes a slow breath through his nose before continuing.

_“Go to Zadash. Find a tavern there by the name of The Evening Nip._ _Ask for a drink and say to the barkeep, "While I have no coin, I'd be willing to offer many gifts." That will get you downstairs, to The Gentleman._

_“Tell The Gentleman that you need to find us. We will meet you there as soon as we hear word that you are okay and waiting for us._

_“We miss you dearly, Molly. Please find your way back to us.”_

The sound of the horses’ steps and the creaking of wooden wheels are the only sounds made for a long moment.  
“And you were the one who wrote this, right?”

Caleb’s brows furrowed. “ _Ja,_ I did write it. I already told you that.”

“Okay, just making sure.”

“Why do you ask?”

“You’ve never called me just Molly before.”

Caleb blinks. "I haven't?" 

Molly blinks back. "No. Not that I remember. Although I'm sure that doesn't count for much, to you. My memory hasn't had the best track record, lately." 

Something about the barely-perceptible disappointment he hears in the other's playful voice makes Caleb's heart leap into his throat. He is reading too much into a weird moment, surely. They're weird people.

"You wrote this while the others were still captured, too." 

Caleb isn't sure what confirming this will do, but he swallows and nods his head anyway. "Yes. I did." 

"When it says  _'we miss you dearly,'_ was that just on behalf of everyone else?" Molly asks, eyes fixed on the note instead of Caleb's face. 

The underlying question in there makes Caleb nervous. "I...what are you trying to ask?" 

Mollymauk is silent for a moment, a frown on his face. The nerves condense into dread. Caleb feels like this has turned into an interrogation. He's been found out, hasn't he?

"Okay. One more question for you. And then I'll let you have your morning back." 

Caleb's chest hurts. He tries not to let the pain reach his eyes. "Yes, Mollymauk?" 

"What is the last word on the page?" 

Oh, yeah. That. 

"That," he points to the word, "is _my_ name, Mollymauk." 

For some reason, he expects to see disappointment in his eyes when he chances a look at Molly's face. Or disgust. Some mix of the two, to finalize Caleb's hidden hopes as foolish. 

What he gets instead is a smug grin and a chuckle. "I knew it...It was too perfect not to be." 

At this point, Caleb thinks he must have some form of internal whiplash from this entire encounter. Mollymauk must notice how his brows knit together, because his grin softens. 

"You know you were the first person out of our group that I remembered completely, when my memories were still shit? Right when we all got back together?" 

He didn't know this. Molly pushes on when he gets no verbal response, switching his gaze from Caleb's face to his own lap intermittently. 

"I think I knew, somewhere in the back of my head, that you were important to me. When I saw you again, before I remembered, I wasn't entirely sure why I was so drawn to you. All I knew was how closed off you were when the carnival was in Trostenwald, and then the memories were gone from there," Molly picks at his talons. A fond look crosses the tiefling's face that he tries to hide away. Caleb is still struggling to find a response. "Every time that I would look at you after I came back, I would remember something new. With the others, I would just reach a point where I remembered everything I could about them within that first month. But with you, it never stopped. I thought a lot about you...I still do. I mean." He chews on one of his talons. "I'm putting my foot in my mouth, here, aren't I?" 

"What do you mean?" 

Molly looks up at him wordlessly, mouth opening and closing before he can formulate a proper response. "I think more about you than I do anyone else. That's why I never stopped remembering things about you. I had too many thoughts to recover. And I couldn't exactly ask you about them, because I never said them out loud, when I first thought them...I've been holding onto it. But being dead, uh. Made me think about why exactly that was. And the more logical part of my brain told me I had no good excuse. But the rest of me...panicked." 

He needs a moment to think. The words are overwhelming. But Caleb's chest immediately feels lighter, upon hearing them. The sentiment is painfully familiar. 

He looks at Mollymauk, mirroring his cross-legged position, biting his lip and fidgeting with his hands in his lap. Caleb feels his heart pound again. 

"Caleb? I'm sorry, did I say too much at once? I'm sorry-" 

"Shh." 

Molly stops when he's hushed, eyes darting up from his lap a little frantically. "Wh-?" 

" _Shhh._ " Caleb looks around to their sleeping companions, eyes narrowed at every evenly breathing pile of blankets. "...I don't want any of them to interrupt this." 

Molly shuts his mouth and nods slowly, leaning in to listen. Caleb can't stop himself from huffing a little laugh, eyebrows drawn up in a wince. 

"You knew exactly where to look to find meaning in my words. I didn't even realize I had let them bleed through. But...you have me figured out." 

"I wouldn't say that," Molly murmurs with a shrug. "There's still plenty that I'd like to learn from you."

"I've been sitting here, thinking the same about you." Caleb's hands shake a little, but he steels himself to keep going. "You are one of the most interesting people I've ever met- which is saying something, considering the band of oddballs we travel with. The last time I fell in love was so different from this...yet I feel like this is still that." 

"I've never fallen in love before. I have no reference," Molly whispers, taking one of Caleb's hands loosely in both hands. The wizard could pull away if he wanted, but his eyes were locked on the way the other stroked his thumb over his bandaged hands. "But I'm pretty sure that I fell in love with you ages ago." 

The hitch of his breath is only noticeable to himself. Molly looks up at him patiently in the silence, and Caleb is reminded again of how much he adores this person. This time, he doesn't try to contain the staggering desire that threatens to consume him. 

Caleb cradles the back of Molly's head and pulls him closer. He sighs, falters for a moment, before looking back up at Molly. 

"Full disclosure...I have no idea what I'm doing. The only other time I've felt anything like this, I didn't tell anyone. And I'm very afraid of doing this wrong. I've never actually been in...a relationship. But I want to try, if you do." 

"Of course," Molly practically breathes the words against his cheek. Caleb feels a full body shiver. "I'm in no rush. We can take this as slowly as we want to." 

"Would it be alright if I kissed you, Mollymauk?" 

Molly doesn't even answer verbally. He pulls Caleb toward him and closes the distance. The first kiss is more a brush of lips than anything, a test before committing to the full thing. It turns into a slow kiss, shared with the utmost care as they find a shared rhythm, and blooming into a warm, breathless exchange as the desperation sets in. Caleb wraps his arms around Molly, as the tiefling clings to him in a similar manner. He can't count on his fingers how many times he has imagined something like this. Now that he has it, he doesn't want it to end. Molly must be feeling similar, if the way he traces his tongue across Caleb's lower lip is anything to go by. 

When they break apart, chests heaving, the horses are still stomping. Caduceus is still steering. The rest of the Nein are still sleeping. They smile breathlessly at each other, trying to quiet their heavy breathing. 

"I can't believe you were holding out on me this entire time, Caleb." 

"I was probably going to die with that secret," the wizard mutters gently, leaning his forehead against Molly's. The tiefling grins - Caleb can feel it barely pressed against his own lips. 

"That's fair. I thought something similar, in all honesty." 

Somebody snores. It's too resonant to be anyone other than Fjord. Molly laughs when he and Caleb share a look, too giddy to contain it. Caleb smiles- actually smiles. Not a small quirk of his lips or a wince, but a true smile. When the wizard glances up at Molly, he finds that soft smile on him again. 

"Is it alright if I stay here, for a bit? You can keep reading, if you want. But I'm feeling very much like I would like to stay near you." 

Now Caleb is the one to wordlessly spring to action, pulling Mollymauk into his lap and straightening his legs out, setting his chin onto the other's shoulder and scooping up his book again. Molly wraps his legs around Caleb's waist and melts into his hold, turning his head so that he doesn't hit the man with his horn. Caleb hums when they finally settle. The weight of Molly against him is grounding, conveniently keeping him from floating away after such an overwhelming collection of moments. It's almost left him tired.

"Try to get some more sleep. It's still early." 

"Hmm, I'll get there. Give me a couple minutes." Molly must have tried to kiss his shoulder, but all Caleb felt was a gentle nudge through the layers of his coat. It still makes him crack another grin before he opens his book back to where he left off. 

If the others took notice of their position later that morning, they don't comment on it. They're too busy groaning at the sky as a roll of thunder gently sounds ahead of them on the horizon.

Caleb hides his smile in Molly's hair as he turns another page in his book. 

**Author's Note:**

> [Here's the link](http://murderspice.tumblr.com/post/182047387756/here-is-the-art-i-drew-for-the-fic-i-wrote-for-the) to my tumblr post with just the art, including the unedited version~


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